Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
