Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
