Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
