Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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