Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
