I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
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