He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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