I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
