I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
