I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
My vagina is very pro this idea
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