I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
