i jhust puked up my retainher.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
