"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
