Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
