i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
