Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
