just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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