Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
