My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
