Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
