He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
love makes seman taste better
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
