It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
