Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Randomize
