Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
