he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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