Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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