I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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