remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
