you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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