What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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