Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
