I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
