now i know why i became what i already was.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
