this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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