i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
