watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
where does the pee come out of this thing
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
