I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
