yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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