You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
