If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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