OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I hope mine doesn't look like that
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
