Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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