you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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