Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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