Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
