You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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