Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
