he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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