I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
