You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
