I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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